Finally accomplished the goal I set when I was 10-years-old

After 26(ish) years of waiting, I finally went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show's midnight showing.

I am currently almost 37 which means I have been waiting since I was 10 years old to attend this. And that's not an exaggeration. You know those parents who take age suggestions for movie ratings literally, and will only let their kids watch movies based on age-appropriate ratings.

Yeah, those weren't my parents. 

And to be honest, I can't remember how old I was the first time I saw Rocky Horror. 10 years old was just the age I had learned about the midnight showing. My dad told me he would take me to go see it on my 13th birthday. 

That never happened. 

And probably for the best. 

10-year-old me clearly did not understand what the fuck was going on in that movie. Although, after rewatching it last weekend, 36-year-old me still does not understand what the fuck is going on in that movie. 

In hindsight, maybe I should not have watched it at such a young age, but it does kind of explain a lot about my quirks as an adult. Not so much the sexy parts of the movie, but the nonsensical bit definitely explains a lot about my thought process...

Anyways, I finally broke the seal (or popped the cherry which I don't even know is a phrase anymore), and saw the movie in all its glory. On the big screen. Replayed by a DVD. Not a blu ray. Not a projector. A standard definition DVD. Amidst a rambunctious audience, lip-singing actors, and my two best friends.  

To prepare, I actually picked out an outfit which is much harder than it sounds. Most of my T-shirts feature either brewery names or shitty clip-art cats. They are far from the 70s glam fashion (and lingerie) featured in the movie. 

I made my friends take a before-photo to make my glam outfit look more impressive:

Can you guess which one I am based on my wardrobe description?

Luckily, I have yet to part ways with my collection of skinny jeans which appear as more rock n' roll than out of fashion when attending a 1970s movie. They also just so happen to pair well with the sequence top from my wedding dress. 

I've worn this top twice: 

#1 My wedding day

#2 Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight showing

Dressing up is something I have a difficult time doing. Besides my lack of wardrobe, I also struggle in the hair and makeup department. I'm just not good at it. Whenever I try to do my hair, my arms get tired, so I give up. Whenever I try to do my makeup, there's an 85% chance I'm going to fuck up the second eye of eyeshadow. I then have no other choice but to fuck up the first eye's eyeshadow so they match. 

This is partly one of the reasons I didn't get as involved with Burlesque. As much as I love dancing and performing, I just do not have the skillset or patience to learn how to do my makeup or hair. I also don't have the patience to sew. Another useful skill as a small-time burlesque performer. 

But for some reason, the stars had aligned this weekend because my hair had an effortless wave and my second eye of makeup did not get fucked up which means my first eye stayed unfucked. 

Don't read the last part of the previous sentence out loud. 

It was as if the universe was working in my favor so I could finally achieve my childhood goal of seeing Rocky Horror Live. 

And I looked good. I even took shameless photos where I posed instead of awkwardly laughing. It was hard to keep a straight face, but I did it. And now I have way too many unironic bathroom selfies on my phone. 

The thing about a midnight showing is that it's at midnight. 10-year-old me thought this was very doable, but not so much at 36. A few years back I discovered how much I enjoy sleep and have created a habit of being in bed by 8:30pm. I'm not going to lie. It was a genuine concern if I could stay up long enough to even get to the show. 

But I prevailed and made it!

Now, I knew this show involved callbacks to the screen, but I had no idea to what extent. I thought my childhood obsession would have created long-term memories of the dialogue and would help guide me with the interaction. 

I was oh so wrong. 

Turns out I only remember the songs. Even then, I don't remember any song after Susan Suranadon's Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch Me. 

And I completely forgot about the entire last act:

Why was Tim Curry on a floatie in a pool in the theatre? 

Why was there even a pool in the theatre?

No fucking clue what this movie is about. 

Before going to the midnight showing, I don't think I had seen this movie in its entirety since I was a teenager. When my friend asked me what it was about I said, "I think it's about sex aliens". 

I had no idea where the Time Warp even fit into the plot. And after watching it again, I still don't know how the Time Warp fits into the plot. 

But even if I was familiar with the movie, there were so many callbacks, there is no way I would have been able to figure it out. The most innocuous and small lines had audience callbacks. 

I should have researched. 

Or at least just yelled "asshole" when it felt right. I would have fit right in. 

But here are a few of my key takeaways from the midnight show:

1. The 70s camp genre desperately needs to be revived 

2. A crowd chanting "elbow sex" is a must-have experience

3. Hot-Patootie Bless My Soul is the best Meatloaf song

4. Susan Sarandon will forever be my girl crush

5. Throwing toast at a small, unimportant piece of dialogue is the comedy I live for

6. I still don't know what the fuck this movie is about

Was it worth the 26-year wait? Absolutely. But if I could do it over, I would have started going to the live show back when I was 13 because it is going to take me another 26 years to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do while in the crowd.